Disconnecting From The Virtual World

Lately, I’ve become conscious that I lack the enthusiasm to share much with virtual world. And before posting I often question myself the following:

  • Why don’t I post online as much as I use too?
  • Why does the thought of getting on social media give me anxiety?
  • What do I post?
  • Why does taking a selfie and sharing it via the virtual world feel so unnatural?
  • Why do I inadvertently find posting on Snap Chat, or anything live for that matter, funny?
  • Why has posting in general become some sort of comedy in and of itself?

Not knowing what to post to the virtual world has led me to not having that motivation to post, which has come to a point where it is affecting me mentally. I’ll get online with the intent to post only to find myself with a sorta stage fright; best way of explaining how I feel before wanting to post something.

My absence at times most probably has gone unnoticed by many; and then there are those who have known me for years, wether they are family friends or my fan’s, who have noticed the inconsistency.

Initially, I would do my best to share with my fans and others what was relevant at the time of my post, as far as my career is concerned; but something happened to me which essentially changed the course of my life, at the time I didn’t realize the magnitude of what had happened and how much it would impact my life now. And yes life moves on just like the saying goes, time waits for no body.

And in-between that time, of what took place and where I’m at today, life was generous with the amount of balls it threw at me. And actually sitting back and thinking about it, “Well bloody hell! Life you sure threw a shit load of curve balls.”

There were so many times I wanted to punch life in the face and scream as loud as I would have if I were 3 years old again; throwing a tantrum because well thats what 3 year olds do. However I will say with certainty that today I can stand tall with my head held high knowing that despite everything that happened I continue to move forward with integrity, courage, and bravery.

And so you might be asking yourself what does this have to do with why I am indecisive as to what I share virtually. Well my friend I cannot go into specifics, but because of what transpired left my creative side open for change. A change that I have actually come to appreciate a little bit more.

I consciously started this year off by taking the advice given to me, from my psychologist, my husband, including those close to me. The ultimate decision to take care of myself first was non-negotiable.

I couldn’t be more proud of myself for being proactive and executing their advice. By doing so has allowed me to focus on my health, my mental state, etc. and has been life changing in so many wonderful ways.

Back to the virtual world in my opinion I think it comes down to balance. I’ve learnt this year everything in moderation is what works for me. I’ve learned to set boundaries, by doing so I don’t feel as stressed. Another big thing I’ve learnt this year is letting go of EXPECTATIONS!

Yes! Letting go of how I expected people to react and how I expected things to turn out has been a huge life changer for me. When we have expectations we have already set ourselves up to be disappointed.

I’ve stopped doing what I thought was expected of me; and honestly if that has offended people, it’s ok. I’m happier and have a greater appreciation in all aspects of my life. I have always been a people pleaser and that no longer works for me.

We only have this one life to live and I’m fortunate enough to have the support of those I surround myself with to be able to get to this healthy state of well being.

I know that energy in an environment of unhappy, self loathing, life’s the shit then you die kinda of energy; and let me tell ya something that sort of environment loves itself some company. My advice to anyone in that rut run for your life and don’t look back, and if you do only look back to measure how far you’ve grown to get where you are today.

So as far as my post in the virtual world it most probably won’t make sense and that’s fine for me. Because at the end of the day we are all trying to make sense of our own journey. And for me to post anything that doesn’t feel authentic for me would be a lie. Therefore I rather be silent. In the meantime enjoy the few random here and there post from me.

Who knows what direction I’m headed; all I know is that I am open to change. Stepping into the unknown is magical. You will not see any change if you continuously repeat the same routine you do everyday.

Love always,

Breann

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest Videos

Facebook

INSTAGRAM

×